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ZetaTalk: Donor Fathers

Note: written Dec 15, 1996


 In keeping with their tendency to share personal experiences and seek emotional support from others, most reports from contactees who are donors to the hybrid program have been from women. These reports describe how the women who were donors were checked frequently to determine when they were about to ovulate or had vaginal procedures to extract ova or implant the zygote or remove the fetus after the few weeks that it remains in the donor mother’s womb. Donor mothers are also the partner who report meeting their offspring, highly emotional encounters where longing and regret at the necessary separation between mother and child are openly expressed.

Where is the father in all of this, the male donor? In fact, the donor fathers have equally compelling experiences with their offspring, and physical procedures to relate. The reason fewer reports emerge from the donor father is due to a conflict between the father donor role and what human society perceives as the male role. In human societies the male is the one in charge, the one who does to others, including the woman, not the one done to. This perception goes beyond the sex act, it permeates human society and the roles assumed by males and females. Males lead, they give orders, they make the decisions, so the role they experience as donor fathers is utterly out of keeping with what they have been told since boyhood is their proper place.

Father donors are examined as to their health regularly, and undergo sperm extraction at a time when the donor mother’s ova is ready. Unlike the usual male sperm donation in human society, where the male is presumed to have selected his bed mate and the time and place of a sexual encounter as well, donor fathers in the hybrid program chose neither the mate or the time or place. To add to this insult, they are in the passive position when giving the donation. A cup is placed over their genitals and the sexual response generated through mental influences solely. There is no physical stimulation, and thus little pleasure. Where donor fathers are as willing to participate as the donor mothers, when back in human society this is not the kind of experience that gets loud discussion in the locker room. Thus, not much is heard about the donor father’s experiences.

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