Many times those who would take a responsible position in life have mixed feelings. Should they step to the helm, be the one on call, make promises - and then find they lack the leadership or are at a loss for ideas or cannot deliver? At what point is it safe to offer? Many hesitate, fearing failure not only for themselves but for those who would be the brunt of their failure - those whom promises were made to. On the other hand some promise blithely, with never a thought that they may be required to deliver, enjoying the appreciation they receive in advance. And then there is the other side of the equation, the recipient, who may trust blindly or be guarded, may find themselves delighted at the results or waiting forever for any results.
Think of the child, whose father has turned his back without any thought of how the child and its mother will survive. These men are often the most free with slavish promises stated boldfaced to the women they charm. In many cases they may even believe their own words and be horrified at their behavior, living afterwards with a deep sense of dismay and shame.
Whichever side of the equation one finds themselves on, how to know when to step up to the plate and how to know when to trust. This is one of the major lessons of 4th Density in the Service-to-Others orientation. Entities find themselves on both sides of the equation, disappointed, dazed, confused, and trying not to blame the other for the mess. Endless discussions sometimes ensue over what went wrong and who should shoulder blame. In the Service-to-Others orientation, more often than not, both sides of the equation want to take the blame, and this becomes just another issue - who will be allowed to take responsibility for what went wrong.
This lesson, on taking responsibility, is not one we can address with a few words, as it is complex enough to differ for every situation. However, some guidelines are obvious. When shouldering responsibility the entity should assess their ability to meet all contingencies. If, for instance, they sense that in the main they are equal to the task, then they should move forward but communicate the points where they feel help from others will be required. If passion to become involved is strong, but skills or knowledge lacking, the entity may enlist a cohort to team up, thus gaining the skills to match the passions. If confident and experienced, but suddenly finding themselves in a pinch, the entity who has taken responsibility for a situation should communicate clearly and unmistakably their need for help.
In all cases, the answer is communication and helping hands.
Take the situation of the charming father to be, who has started something which later comes to terrify him. He runs, or feigns indifference to the child, because he is at a loss at how to proceed. Imagine this situation, all too common in human society, with open communication and helping hands. The father feels free to state that his heart is full of pride and eager love but he doesn't know how to pick the baby up without breaking it. He may resent the need to spend precious cash on endless crises and fear the trend will only acerbate. Will his life not matter anymore? How different matters might be if he could openly discuss his fears and accept help from others, rather than letting his fears build until they propel him from the woman and child.